November 2nd in Chicago, a homeless man walked into a McDonald’s and took a dump in the middle of the restaurant. Mike Sims, a witness to the incident and 57 year old culinary student, was eating a sausage McMuffin at the time. The deuce droppage did not spoil his appetite, and he was able to finish his meal. When asked by reporters about the incident, Mr. Sims said, “What got me was, being a student chef, is that he took a napkin and cleaned it up and placed it on the counter where anyone can put your food and get your condiments.”
I don’t get culinary students.
In related news a Evan Mornig, doctoral candidate in economic’s parents were severely harmed in a shooting during a bank robbery gone horribly awry in Lansing, MI. Their prognosis is unknown and their condition remains critical. When asked for his thoughts Mr. Mornig responded, “What got me was, being a student of economics, is that the criminals took automatic weapons and sprayed them towards the cuing lines where anyone can wait to complete transactions with the tellers.”