“Condiment Man, as his secret identity, Hoj, walks casually down the street. He stops at and intersection, and pushes the pedestrian crossing button. He turns around, as if to say something.”
“Stop it Adam!! That’s getting real annoying!!”
“Sorry Condi…err…Hoj. It’s a bad habit I’m tryin’ to break.”
“You’re just makin’ that up! Anyway, how are we doin’ on condiments??”
“We’re starting to run low on mustard, you keep giving it to people, why do you do that?”
“Give people mustard!?!? Silly sidekick, that’s what we superheroes do, help people in need. They needed mustard, and I gave it to them.”
“WOW!! What a great idea!! That’s why you’re the superhero and I’m just the goofy sidekick I guess.”
“Right.”
“The ‘walk’ figure appears, and Hoj begins to cross the street. Hoj is now turning and raising his right hand, as if to smack someone.”
“ADAM!!!! STOP IT!!!!”
“Sorry boss, sorry, won’t happen again.”
“No that, you’re makin’ up.”
“Probly, so wh-“
“My Condiment Sense® is going off. The…KC…Masterpiece…is out of…barbecue sauce!” I cut in.
“That could be bad… Where are we gonna change into our costumes?”
I looked around for a place to change, all there was, was a prot-a-potty, a phone booth, and a trash can.
“Hmmm…”
“I’ll change in the phone booth,” Adam told me.
“If you want to, but it’s made ou of glass, people can see in.”
“Ok, fine then, I’ll pull al the trash out of the trash can, cover myself up to my neck, and get changed there.”
“Uhhh…K… I’m goin over to the port-a-potty.”
With that, I dashed over to the port-a-potty, jumped behind it, and got changed into my Condiment Man suit. At the same time, Adam covered himself with trash, pulled a comb out of his pocket, and combed his hair over to the side. I got back to Adam just as he was putting the Official Sidekick sticker on his forehead.
“All right, let’s get goin’,” I said as I called for the Condiment Mobile ($3.28 + tax at your local supermarket (A TWO TON deal at Phaor)).
A few seconds later, the Condiment Mobile pulled up, and we hopped in. A few minutes after that, we were standing outside of KC Masterpiece, with a bunch of angry people that were yelling at everyone that worked there. I tried to get to the door, but the bunch of angry people wouldn’t let me in.
“Bunch of angry people, please let me through.”
“Hey!! We are not a bunch of angry people, we are an Angry Mob.”
“No, angry mobs have torches, and things, you have steaks with no barbecue sauce.”
“Well, the steaks with no barbecue sauce should count for something. How ‘bout an angry bunch?”
“Well, I guess you could be an angry bunch, if you taped the steaks to your butts, and asked passers by if they wanted a bite…”
“Ok. We can do that, just give us a minute…” he walked away, and said, “Hey Dick, tell Fred to get us a bunch of tape!!”
With the angry people distracted, Adam and I went into the restaurant, and asked for a container for the parbecue sauce I was about to give them. After a bit, they returned with a big bucket, which I filled with KC Masterpiece barbecue sauce. They were so happy, they gave me a choice of a billion dollars, or their Beautiful BBQ Footage. I’m not stupid like the other superheroes. I chose the Beautiful BBQ Footage, you’ve lost your condiments if you think I would take some silly money of some Beautiful BBQ Footage. As we walked away, I talked to Adam about today’s adventure and about what we learned today. “Today, we were up against some people that just wanted a condiment to liven up their steaks. I can’t blame them for that. I would probably do the same thing if I were them. Well, I’ll call the Condiment Mobile so we can get some mustard.”
“Good idea boss,” said Adam.
I pushed the button, and waited for the Condiment Mobile to show up, thinking about our next adventure.