I was dressed in my CM suit, sneaking around the house, to try to find my evil sister, Magnet Girl. I had gotten into the computer room, unnoticed. I opened the door a crack, and noticed the door was shut, but the stereo was playing inside. I stepped out of the room, and looked down the hallway, nobody. I lept across the hall, and stood next to her door, with my back to the wall, listening for some evil plan to be revealed. She was talking to someone, couldn’t make out who she was talking to, or what she was saying to them. The handle of the door started to turn. Crap! I thought, and dove back into the computer room, slamming the door behind me.
She walked down the hall, talking to that person, and laughing. I heard them leave through the front door, and I looked out the window to see who the other person was, I had seen her before, but I didn’t know her name. I slumped down on the computer chair, and looked out the window.
One of the neighbors was mowing his lawn, some kids were riding their bikes around, and the mail was being delivered. “A fellow superhero!!” I gasped, then ran down the stairs, and out the front door. “Hello there Mail Man!”
“Ehh... hello.”
“So, do you have a Mail Sense, which tells you where mail is, and where mail should be and isn’t?”
“Ehh... no.” The confused postal worker replied. He started shoving mail from his truck into the different mail slots, when his walkie-talkie started talking. The mail man reached into his truck, and started talking to the person on the other side. I could hardly make out his whispers, something about snow, and penguins.
“Was that you’re sidekick, telling you that you’re arch enemy has been located, and now is the time to strike, so you can capture him, and lock him up in jail?” I asked.
“Ugh... something like that, but more along the lines of, the world is ours!!!”
“Neat, what half do I get? I better not get all ocean, that would suck.”
“No! Not between the two of us, the world now belongs to the postal worker!!” Mail Man screamed at me.
“Psycho.” I said as I started to walk off.
“Hey, I’m not the one wearing sweat pants and a sweat shirt when it’s 109 out...” Mail Man retorted.
“Yeah, well...” I tried to think of some kind of comeback, but Mail Man interrupted my thinking.
“...but that will soon change. Soon it will snow. A huge blizzard will sweep over the US”
“But it’s 109 out...” I pointed out.
“Thank you Captain Obvious.”
“Actually, it’s...”
“Here it comes.” Mail Man looked over me, and got a big smile on his face.
I turned to see what he was looking at. Clouds were forming all over. They rolled across the sky, blocking out quite a bit of sunlight. A frigid wind blew past, making my cape fly up into Mail Man’s face. Soon after the wind, snow whipped around. I could hardly see anything but white. Within seconds, the snow had piled up to my knees. I realized I had better get inside, and quick. I ran in the direction I thought my house was in, my limbs growing numb. I didn’t think I was going to make it, when I ran into a big, hard thing at full speed. Good thing I couldn’t feel a thing, or that would’ve stung.
I felt, as much as I could, for the keypad to open the garage door. I found it, frozen shut. I pounded on it, “Open you stupid thing!” I screamed. Finally it gave. I pulled the flap up, and punched in the code. The garage door slowly opened, I jumping up and down, trying to keep as warm as I could. I ducked underneath, and ran headfirst into my mom’s Jeep. I scrambled to the door, and pressed the button to close the garage door.
I sat there on the steps, dripping, cold, hungry. As soon as I could feel my arms again, and the pain of them warming up, I opened the trunk of the Jeep, and pulled out a spare set of clothes. I got dressed, and went inside. My parents were siting on the couch, watching the news people try to explain the crazy weather.
“The blizzard that has just hit all over the United Stares has hit so quickly that all salt trucks have been buried. All police stations, army bases, fire stations, airports, salt mines, manufacturers, and supermarkets have been hit just as hard. Wait... this just in.
The US Postal Service is behind the blizzard. They are demanding our surrender. With all of the army, and police force buried in snow, the president had no choice, but to give the country to the Postal Workers.”
“Huh...” I said in amazement.
I ran up to my room, and got into a snowsuit, and put my costume over. I headed into my condiment closet, and pulled out the crates of salt. I put on a hat, and jumped out my window, fell a few feet, hit the snow, and slowly slid the remaining ten feet to the ground. I covered my gloves with salt, and tunneled my way to the post office. Hardly any snow had fallen on the post office. Although it was at least -20 out, the Mail Men walked around in shorts. “What the?” I said to myself.
All the Mail Men that were outside looked over at me, one pulled out a walkie-talkie, and the rest ran at me. One punched me in the stomach, then the one behind him kicked me in the face. “Ha ha!! The cold has made me numb to your attacks!!”
I flung my arms wildly around, slapping them repeatedly. Soon they overpowered me, grabbed my arms, and led me inside their postal headquarters.
I was sat in a chair, and tied down. They had left me in a nice looking room, a desk, pictures of famous mail men hanging on the walls, and a big comfy chair behind the desk. The chair spun around, and in it a mail man sat. He leaned back, and in a deep voice said, “So, you have come to stop us from taking over.”
“Yeah, how do you resist the cold?”
“Well, you know the saying about hail, sleet, snow, no matter what the mail will go through?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s because mail men are immune to the elements. Thanks to the scientists’ weather modifier, we can finally use our power to its full extent.”
“You’ll never get away with this!”
“That’s what they all say, silly superhero.”
“That’s because they’re always right!”
“This time they’re wrong. Nothing can interfere with the plan now. We have already won.”
Finally the rope around my legs broke from the constant rubbing against the sharp pointy thing under the chair. With my arms still tied down, I started pulling the wheeled chair at him. When I was about five feet away, I spun myself around, slamming the back of the chair in to his desk. His steaming hot coffee tipped over, and fell onto his lap.
“Ahhh!!” he screamed in a high pitched voice. He hopped about, grabbing his crotch with both hands. I backed the chair up, and started charging at him. Again I spun the chair around, and hit him. He flew back, and caught himself on the wall, I backed my self into him, pinning him against the wall.
“I think you should untie me. It’ll look better for you, then nobody can run around saying you lost to someone with both hands tied to a chair.”
He slowly untied me. When he was done, I climbed out of the chair, picked it up, and threw it at him. He jumped over it, and it slammed into the wall. The mail man came down from his jump, and got his feet tangled in the chair, making him land wrong. He had one foot twisted almost backwards, his other foot pinned under the chair, and his head hit the ground hard.
“That’s gonna hurt when he wakes up.” I said. Then slowly backed up. I opened the door, and ran deeper into the office of post.
I followed the hallway until I reached a large room, with ice covering the floor. I walked out a little, slipping around a little, when I saw a mail man on ice skates going full speed at me. Then, with the world in slow motion, I reached deep into my supply belt, and latched my hand around my emergency condiment supply. I pulled out my last packet of salt, and jumped to the side. While floating through the air, I ripped the salt packet open with my teeth, and flung the salt filled part at the ground in front of the postal worker on ice skates. The packet hit the ice, salt crystals flying around, then melting the ice.
The worker hit the melted patch, toppled over, and slid helplessly away. I continued on into the fortress of mail, hoping to find the weather device, and disable it. Eventually, I made it to a door marked, “Weather Device”. I kicked the door open, and burst inside.
A few mail men were loading the weather device into a mail truck, and the mail man with the broken foot limped into the front of the truck. A few other mail men ran at me, while pulling out wads of junk mail. They swatted me right and left, like an insect walking along on the table that has a strong outer shell and doesn’t want to squish, so it gets hit more and more until it’s dead. I waived my arms about wildly, trying to deflect as many hits as possible, when that didn’t work so good, I reached into my utility belt, and pulled out, the whistle. In it I blew and blew. No sound came out, and the mail men laughed.
“Ha ha ha, we broke your whistle with our barrage of junk mail smacks!” a mail man said.
Then the dogs burst through the doors, windows, and air ducts.
“Retreat!!” the main mail man screamed to his troops. The masses fled the building as the fleet of dogs followed behind, biting at them. “We will return, Condiment Man!!”