One day, I, Condiment Man, was moseying around when I sensed that someone was in need of condiments. You see, when I was transformed into Condiment Man, I gained a sixth sense, I can tell where condiments are, and where condiments should be and are not. As it turned out, the local movie theater was out of mustard, so I hurried over there before someone needed any mustard.
When I got there, there was a lady, desperately trying to get the last bit of mustard out of the squeeze bottle through the window. I started to walk in to save her, when I was stopped by one of the people that worked there. "No outside food or drink!! Take it outside or I will have to remove you!!"
"But I am Condiment Man," I replied, "I have to save that lady over there, she needs mustard!!"
"Mwa ha ha ha!!" he cackled, " I see we are out of mustard, but I love to watch them try to get the last drop out of the bottle!!"
"NOOOOO!!! I CANNOT WATCH THIS CRUELTY!!!" I screamed.
"But you must Crappy Mint Man, for you are a good guy, and because of that, you must follow the rules!! HA HA !!!"
As much as it upset me, he was right, I couldn’t help her. But wait, I couldn’t go in, but she could come out!! "HEY LADY!!! COME HERE!!" She pointed at herself, making sure I was referring to her, I nodded, and she came over to the window.
"Yeah, what do you want??"
"Here is some mustard for your hot dog, I can't bring it in because of this stupid, no outside food or drink rule they have here."
"Wow!! That's pretty nice of you Condiment Man, but I can't come out, I'd have to buy another ticket."
"Ha! Ha! Haa!! Now what are you going to do?? Huh?? Huh??" Movie Guy said.
I thought for a moment, looked up, and said, "Hey look!! That seven armed monkey that just escaped from the scientists hidden lab where they did evil experiments on him, and deprived him of celery is about to punch you in the back of the head!!"
"Yeah right, you don't really want me to belie--" was all Movie Guy got to say, when the seven armed monkey that escaped from the scientists hidden lab where they did evil experiments on him, and deprived him of celery punched him in the back of the head.
With Movie Guy out of the way, I slipped the lady a packet of mustard, and a toothpick in case some of that hot dog got stuck between her teeth.