I walked slowly away from the jail, Newman’s laugh echoing in my ears. My sidekicks were following close behind. I pulled the door of the Condiment Mobile open, and climbed inside. I started to stick the key in, when the Sense went off.
Suddenly, I could see Rosana Square. I was looking down on it, flying around it. I came in closer to McDonald’s, the place of the condiment disturbance. I flew down, through a window, where I saw Cow Defender, throwing handfuls of condiments into the trash. Slowly, the vision faded.
“Sidekicks, we got ourselves a condiment trasher.” I said to them.
“Let’s roll.” Adam said.
I turned the key, and shoved the pedal to the ground. The C-Mobile almost peeled out, and we were on our ways back to Overland Park.
* * * * * * * *
After a little more than a day of driving, we finally arrived outside the McDonald’s. I climbed out of the C-Mobile, and made my way into the McDonald’s. I walked in slowly, ducking behind the little walls separating the tables, peeking out, trying not to be spotted quite yet by Cow Defender. I didn’t see him anywhere. Employees were trying to shove a spaceship out of their lobby, and the condiment bar was ravaged.
I stood up, a tear fell from my eye, my mask absorbing it. My nose started to tingle, as I tried not to cry. I had failed. Cow Defender had thrown all the condiments away, and destroyed McDonald’s.
I slumped down onto the floor, and the employees spun around. They gave a look of disgust. I couldn’t blame them. They gave a quick laugh, then shoved it back through the window it had apparently came in through.
I placed a few mustard, ketchup, salt, and pepper packets on their burnt condiment bar. I took a step back, and the bar collapsed into ashes. I stumbled onto the counter, knocking a cash register onto the ground. My sidekicks looked on in disbelief. Their mighty hero has fallen.
I propped myself up, and stumbled outside. There were potholes everywhere, people were laying around, puddles of bubbling goo burned through them. The KenTacoHut was untouched, probably because the Chihuahua had protected it from the likes of Cow Defender.
I made my way over to Price Chopper, hoping Akmed would be there to help. I made my way into the Price Chopper, dodging potholes, and walking around the cars with holes melted into them. The doors squeaked loudly as they slowly opened. I crept inside, Adam and Condiment Cow looked around for Akmed, with no luck.
Over to the customer service desk I went. “Could you page...” I started to say, when the lady just walked off. I turned around, and looked at the cashiers, hoping to find Akmed helping a customer, with no luck.
The lady picked up a phone, pushed some buttons, then, “He’s here.” echoed throughout the store. I sat back, and waited for Akmed to come up. Instead, the manager came out of an isle, and walked up to me.
“Why have you come? To laugh? To take more of our business away? Or some other twisted reason?” He said angrily.
“To see Akmed.” I replied.
“Akmed huh... We don’t have any employees here named Akmed. We have informed the managers, and owners of the other stores that you are here, and they should be arriving... right about... now.” He said, as the doors squeaked open.
In came three other guys, and a woman, dressed in business suits. Each with a name tag, with their name, and supermarket they were with. They formed a line, with the Food Barn, and Hen House managers on the right of the PC manager, and the managers from HyVee and Pharmor on the left.
“We are the Supermarket Managers. We will end your business stealing ways!” they said in unison, while waiving their arms around, and kicking the air. “Time to transform!” said the PC manager, nodding his head, and moving his arms around.
“Right.” they all said, while nodding.
“I call on the power of the farmer!” said the Food Barn manager, while nodding, arm moving. Dramatically, the thin man pulled his suit off, revealing overalls, and a blue flannel shirt. He reached behind his back, and pulled out a cowboy hat, and a strand of wheat, which he placed into his mouth.
“I call on the power of the chicken!” shouted the Hen House manager, while nodding, arm moving. Dramatically, the overweight woman grew feathers, and her mouth turned into a beak. Her arms turned to wings, and her legs to drumsticks. Her suit burst at the seams, pieces of fabric falling to the ground, revealing yellow sumo wrestler underwear, and a yellow stomach.
“Ahh... she’s a giant chicken!” was heard somewhere in the distance.
“I call on the power of the cheap Pepsi!” yelled the Pharmor manager, while nodding, arm moving. Dramatically, the plump man pulled his clothes off, revealing green sweatpants, and a white T-shirt with the Pepsi logo all over it.
“I call on the power of the... umm...” the stuttered loudly, while nodding, arm moving. Dramatically, the muscular HyVee manager pulled his clothes off, and put on a pink Blossom hat.
“I call on the power of the Price Chopper!” the beer gutted Price Chopper manager yelled, while nodding, and arm moving. Then dramatically pulled his clothes off to reveal a red ninja suit.
The PC manager motioned his troops forward, and the fight was on. “It’s time for yer milkin’.” The Food Barn manager said as he ran up to Condiment Cow. He picked him up, and ran for the door.
The HyVee manager ran at Adam. “Ahh! Crazy gay guy!” Adam screamed, then kicked the manager in the crotch with his new steel toed boots. Sparks and smoke flew from his crotch, then the manager fell to the ground, holding his injured self.
The Hen House and Pharmor managers approached me. “You yellow bellied chicken!” I yelled at the Hen House manager.
“Oh...” she said. Then walked away crying.
They Pharmor manager punched at my chest. I somehow got out of the way, and gave him a swift uppercut. His head flew back, and he slumped to the ground.
I heard the door squeaking open, and I pulled the Ball O’ Blue out of my belt. I spun around, and chucked it at the ground under the Food Barn manager. It bounced under his raised foot, hit the still opening door, and flew up into his face.
Condiment Cow jumped out of his hand, kicked off the wall, and landed on the manager’s back, finishing him off.
As the Ball O’ Blue came bouncing back to me, the PC manager screamed, “You’re price is about to be chopped!” He raised his arm, like a karate guy about to cut through bricks, then brought it down at my shoulder. I took a step forward, and his elbow hit my shoulder, it still didn’t feel good, but it was nothing compared to what he must’ve been feeling. His elbow hit, and the rest of his arm kept going, snapping it backwards.
I pulled his arm off of my shoulder, and stepped away, holding my shoulder, trying to massage the pain away.
Blood poured from his arm, a nice puddle forming on the floor. “Adam, help him fix his arm, I’m gonna find Akmed.”
“K.” said Adam, then he left, looking for the first aid isle.
I walked around the store, cashiers looked at the fallen managers, I walked past each one, hoping one of them would turn out to be Akmed. I started looking down each isle, with no luck. I had almost given up, when Akmed came out of the back room.
I turned, and ran down to him. “Akmed! Cow Defender has ravaged the McDonald’s. Thrown away all the condiments, destroyed the place. All because I couldn’t get there in time to stop him!”
“Pick up the Ball O’ Blue.” he said.
I walked over to the door, and picked the ball up. “Yeah, now what?”
“Stare deep into the ball. Focus. Use you’re Condiment Sense to see the destroyed McDonald’s that has no condiments. Stare deeper, focus all your energy on it.”
I did as he said, I could see the McDonald’s. The ashes that were once a condiment bar, the piles of wasted condiments. The customers complaining they have no ketchup for their fries. I looked deeper into the ball, I could tell how upset they were, how disparately they needed some condiments. The world around me got all wavy, blurred, then faded to darkness. The darkness faded, everything got blurry, then wavy, then I was standing inside McDonald’s.
I pulled some condiments out of my belt, and distributed them to all who needed them.
“You can now travel to places that need condiments, in seconds. Use the ability well.” Akmed said telepathically.
“Tanks.” I said. Everyone looked at me.