News Page
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This page will give you all the important news, real news, good news, no bad news here, unless it affects me in some way.
Scientists
There have been some scientists looking for our straw in the bush. So far, they haven't found it, and we are trying to keep it that way. We first discovered the scientists were after us, whenever we first hid the straw in the bush. We hid it, then the next day, evil scientists were searching the area. Then, they invaded the neXus. They must have been observing us for a while, since they gave us each a codename on their site, and gave a short description of each of us. We have kept them guessing for this long, but we can't fool them forever. If you have any info about these evil scientists, send some e-mail my way. hippogrif@aol.com
Stupid Kids
Well, it started as my friend Steven and I were goin down go get some burritos, and Mexican pizza. It was getting pretty dark when we arrived at the KenTacoHut (Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut all in one). We walked along the sidewalk, looking into the store to see how crowded it was, and talking about how things are funnier with drinks (see next story) (NOT RIGHT NOW!! You silly goof. Finish this story first.), when we passed some what looked like 7th graders. There were three of them. Two boys, both had thier big baggy pants down to their knees, and the other one was a girl. I know this because as I said earlier, there were three of them, and there were only two boys, so that would make the third person a girl by process of elemination. Well back to the story. We passed them on the sidewalk, and as they walked by, they called us loosers. Now I thought this kinda strange, little sevies, calling high schoolers loosers. Luckilly for them, we were hungry, and non-violent people. It taked pretty much for us to go fight someone, and that wasn't even close.
Drinks Make Stuff Funnier!!
Its true. Drinks do make things funnier. If you read the Bad Jokes & Other Fun Stuff page with our a drink, you'd be like "Ha ha ha", but if you were holding a drink, it would be three times funnier, you would be like "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha". Now if you have some of your beverage in your mouth, its infinitly times funnier. Why you ask?? Because if the liquid is in your mouth, and a joke is told, you start to laugh. Then you try to hold the drink in your mouth. Which makes you laugh even harder, and you start to think "Am I gonna spit it out?? I hope not, but It would be funny if I did!!", which makes u laugh harder, then you wonder if it's gonna come out your nose, even harder, then thoughts like "What if I spit it out, and it hits someone??" and "What if I spit it out into my drink?? Will I have to drink it again??" Then you try to calm yourself down by looking away, and thinking of something else. But of course it doesn't work, it just makes you laugh harder. Then you get to the point where you can't breathe because you're laughin too hard. You start to gasp for air, making goofy sounds, even harder, then you finally start to spit it out, so you laugh at that, and whats left of the baverage in your mouth comes out your nose. So you laugh even harder. And everyone is laughing at you, you have beverage coming out of your nose and mouth, so you try to laugh with them, but of course your already laughing, so you laugh harder, which makes them laugh harder, so you laugh harder, which makes them laugh harder and so on. Now grab yourself a cool Snapple, and start readin' the bad jokes.
This is all the recent news I have collected. If you would like to see some Old News, then just click the link Old News, and you will be magically taken to my Old News page, where you can read some Old News that I had here before I found some New News. The news a had here before became Old News, and because it was Old News it had to go to the Old News page. If you have any questions about the Old News page, or want there to be more Old News, e-mail me at hippogrif@aol.com, or try to figure your Old News problem out. So please read some Old News, it will make the Old News feel better.